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Field Reports from Tatooine for @darthvader

I have to wonder how Darth Vader felt upon reading the field reports from the stormtroopers on Tatooine in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Days 5 and 6 must have throw him for a loop.

Day 1: Located droid parts near an escape pod, and two sets of tracks leading away from the pod. The tracks appear to be from an astromech droid and a bipedal droid. Based on the gait, the bipedal droid is likely a protocol droid.

Day 2: The tracks split up. The astromech's tracks lead off into the wilderness, while the bipedal's head roughly for Mos Eisley. A droid specializing in communications is more suited as a spy, so we're following its tracks first. Probably the astromech has a loose wire.

Day 3: The bipedal's tracks intersect with a Jawa sandcrawler, then vanish. It will be easy to catch up with the sandcrawler later, so we're backtracking to pursue the astromech's tracks before they fade beneath the shifting dunes.

Day 4: The astromech's tracks lead into rocky terrain, then vanish in an area covered with Jawa footprints. Returning to pursue the sandcrawler.

Day 5: Located and stopped the sandcrawler. Examination of the Jawas' financial records indicates they recently captured an astromech droid and a protocol droid wandering the desert with numbers R2D2 and C3PO, respectively. The Jawas promptly sold the droids to a moisture farmer named Owen Lars. Slaughtered the Jawa's and framed the indigenous Tusken raiders.

Day 6: Raided the Lars homestead. Under interrogation, Owen and Beru Lars revealed that after purchasing the droids, they learned that R2D2 claimed to be the property of an "Obi-wan Kenobi". Under further interrogation, Owen revealed that "Obi-wan Kenobi" is another name for a local named "Old Ben Kenobi" who he alternately described as a "wizard" and "a crazy old man". They sent their nephew, Luke Skywaker to Anchorhead to have the droids' memories erased. Put Owen and Beru to death for dealing in stolen goods.

Day 7: Encountered a protocol droid and an astromech droid traveling with two men, one young and one old, but we're sure they were not the droids we're looking for. Later, a bounty hunter spotted R2D2 and C3PO boarding a YT-1300 light freighter named the Millennium Falcon. Dispatched a squad to seize the ship, but encountered heavy return fire and the ship was able to take off.

Hindsight: Those really were the droids you were looking for.

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